熾陽●深我心

The Bluest Day

Today is Friday, after taking Mr. Hughes’ class and that finishing the boring lunch, we set up to our afternoon’s excursion. We visited the Statehouse of Massachusetts but I didn’t feel any interested in it at all. Because my friend continually keeping a distance from me. I didn’t know what’s wrong with her. I just convinced that it’s just kind of my illusions. She kept talking to others and ignored me. Her eyes were never stopped at me. I told to myself that maybe I was too sensitive because I always thought too much even the thing wasn’t as serious as that way I had thought about. Therefore, I needed to focus on the guide, listening to what she said. Unfortunately, the beautiful lady had an extremely soft accent that made me too hard to understand the meanings.

the place for meeting(still using now)

the special thing was that each seat had different height according to the members' tall.

     Although it was a sunny day, my mood was getting worse and worse. After the not-really-good dinner, we set up to visit the Charles River . Somebody may know, I sprained my left ankle without any reasons and it hurt me a lot while walking.（Maybe it wasn’t as painful as that way, maybe that was I thinking too much again, but it did influence me and at that time, I really felt a lot of pain.）I told this to Emma and then Eric noticed the situation. After that, I got a useful bandage and I felt better. However, things were not that easy, our transportation to every stop was usually the SUBWAY.

We had to walk down street out of Tufts and took the train to Charles River and it was always a long long distance. We needed to pay attention to our paths not to get behind our line. Something hateful was that we often walked at the hurry pace especially when we crossed the street, and my foot always couldn’t stand the speed so I became the last one with nobody. The R.C.s would shout out,“Hey guys, cross the street! QUICK! QUICK! Catch up!”I admitted I didn’t have the big problems at walking, but I just cannot bear that they didn’t care more even some of them had already known about this. Perhaps at first they did, but after period of time, seeing I walked not bad and almost as well as others except a little bit slower, they became careless.

   Charles River was really a wonderful place.

     The various blue skies mixed with some red and purple streams that had been stolen from the sun. The breeze was gently shaking my hair. And when I took a seat on the wooden plat just in front of the wide shining river, I hoped I could stay there forever. The water was smooth and my heart was smooth as well. I stared at the scene for a long time, and observed its color became darker and darker.

   I wished to keep the silence in mind but it didn’t come true. I was interrupted by the elusive pain, by the rushing time swimming out from my clock and also the noisy, for some complaining, for some boring conversations, kicking my ear.

“Couldn’t they just keep quiet for a while?”I thought.

 And for the time we coming back, it broke up another hell.

 They kept walking, faster and faster, and my ankle became more and more painful. Sometimes I could not accept it. I tried to neglect the pain. Exactly wrong, I realized that not only the ankle was hurt but my HEART. I watched my group mates going faster and faster just for their earlier time to grab the public bathrooms. I hate that!

I like walking but I could not enjoy it because of the sprain. I hate that! Maybe I should take a walking lesson because I almost forgot how to walk even I was just walking right that time. I hate it!

 And then, when I was in the bathroom sitting on the brick ground, Linda asked me“Do you feel better now with your ankle?”Oh, my! Using your brain,“Do you think I might be better after such a long walk?”I damning in mind. As the result, I answered“No.”Then I explained how the long way I felt. And she just said something I did extremely not agree with.

“I don’t think we had a hard time during the walking.”in Chinese, and I use a better way to translate the sentence. It hurt me! Really hurt me!

    Why they didn’t think of my feelings? Have you ever thought how many efforts I put during this walking? And my foot now was gummy.

    Maybe I looked fine but actually I was not. I walked well but what about the pains inside?

    So blue emotion

                 even much worse to decribe.